Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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