You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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