not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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