In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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