Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
