whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
