I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
