I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
