Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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