can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
