..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
