when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
from now on my penis is your penis
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
