i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my liver is dry heaving
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
