woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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