I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
