All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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