Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
