I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
