We won't sleep together?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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