just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it đ
He said I have the âDenzel Washingtonâ of vaginas.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I often wonder if weâre introverted extroverts, but I donât think so. I think weâre just easily tired scumbags
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