I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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