thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
