one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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