sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
