she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
