Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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