Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
