a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Even my vagina gasped.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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