it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
