I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
