Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
