Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
