omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
