If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
