I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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