Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
