i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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