she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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