I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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