I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You pole danced in your parka.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
