i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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