Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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