i permit you to call me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
