My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
