the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
