I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So apparently I’m into choking now
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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