Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let's get the cat blown out
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
