is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
