Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
