i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
